Biblical Womanhood
Text: Proverbs 31:10-31
Core Idea: A woman of God is someone who cultivates with care, speaks with wisdom, and fears the Lord with reverence. Then let’s encourage our women to be on a journey to grow in their commitment to these things so that God would be glorified and the people around us would flourish.
INTRODUCTION
Good morning, Lighthouse. It is delightful to see you. Last week, we started a short sermon series on biblical manhood and womanhood – and we learned that a man of God is marked by three things. First, he’s committed to God-honoring labor – in that, we’re called to cultivate and protect, that we ought to carry a shovel in one hand and a sword in the other so that those whom God has placed in our lives will grow and be built up instead of just withering away. Second, he’s committed to God-given law – in that, we shouldn’t just settle for a vague understanding of the law but make every effort to know it well so that we would faithfully and intentionally obey His Word. In fact, we can do this joyfully knowing that the commands of God don’t restrict us or rob us of our freedom but enable us to flourish and enjoy life. And lastly, he’s committed to God-ordained leadership – which by the way is never driven by this hunger for power and domination but love. Christian leadership is not first charting vision or giving orders, but modeling and expressing godly character. It’s not concerned first with the leader but with the one being led – which is why a man of God is to treasure those he’s leading but be brutal toward his own sin. All that to say, Christian leadership must clearly demonstrate that he loves those he’s leading more than he loves himself. Brothers, this is the kind of man we’re called to be. Now, this journey to reclaim and rediscover biblical manhood is incredibly important because we live in a world that says that there’s no difference between a man and a woman. Our culture tells us that we ought to create this androgynous, genderless society so that we can all be “equal” in every way. But as we saw last week, this only results in confusion – leading many of the men to either be passive in their attitude toward life or be aggressive in the way they do relationships with others. No wonder we should help our brothers to be on this path that leads to life. Now, obviously, that one sermon I preached last Sunday isn’t going to change everything. So, I pray that we’ll continue to spur one another to be on this journey of recovering biblical manhood. Yes, it’s going to take time. It’s going to require a lot of hard work – but let’s not give up knowing that this is God’s will for our lives.
Well, today, we’ll think through what biblical womanhood looks like. This too is an important issue for us to address because we live in a world that has redefined and ultimately cheapened what it means to be a woman. In fact, this blurring of gender distinction has caused great confusion in women as well. Elisabeth Elliot said, “Throughout the millennia of human history, up until the past two decades or so, people took for granted that the differences between men and women were so obvious as to need no comment. They accepted the way things were. But our assumptions have been assailed and confused – we have lost our bearings in a fog of rhetoric about something called equality so that I find myself in the uncomfortable position of having to belabor to educate people what was once perfectly obvious even to the simplest ones.” Abigail Dodds wrote, “When we forsake our feminine glory in pursuit of the uniqueness that belongs to men, we abandon our God-given glory. We become usurpers – persistently insisting that our uterus and biology are equal to nothing, irrelevant. Women believe the lie that in order to be relevant in a man’s world, you need to become like a man when the opposite is true. Do you want to be relevant? Then shock the world and be what you were made to be: a fearless, unflappable, God-fearing woman. Do not abandon the very differences that make you essential.” Sisters, I pray that this message will spark a passion in you to embark on a journey to rediscover and reclaim biblical womanhood. So, anchor yourself in the truth of God so that you’ll learn from Him what it means to be a woman of God. Then please turn your Bibles to Proverbs 31:10-31. Let me read this for us.
10 A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies. 11 Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value. 12 She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life. 13 She selects wool and flax and works with eager hands. 14 She is like the merchant ships, bringing her food from afar. 15 She gets up while it is still night; she provides food for her family and portions for her female servants. 16 She considers a field and buys it; out of her earnings she plants a vineyard. 17 She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks. 18 She sees that her trading is profitable, and her lamp does not go out at night. 19 In her hand she holds the distaff and grasps the spindle with her fingers. 20 She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy. 21 When it snows, she has no fear for her household; for all of them are clothed in scarlet. 22 She makes coverings for her bed; she is clothed in fine linen and purple. 23 Her husband is respected at the city gate, where he takes his seat among the elders of the land. 24 She makes linen garments and sells them, and supplies the merchants with sashes. 25 She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come. 26 She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue. 27 She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. 28 Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: 29 “Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all.” 30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised. 31 Honor her for all that her hands have done, and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.
Amen. This is the Word of God for you today.
Now, before we actually get into this passage, the first thing I want to do is pause and point out something really important – namely, that this is a picture of a perfect woman. Think about what we just read here. She is valuable and trustworthy, wise and thoughtful, diligent and hardworking, talented and productive, strong but also caring, ambitious but also generous, attentive and kind, confident but also humble, courageous and watchful, admirable and dignified, honored and respected, a leader and a servant. And if that wasn’t enough, she always does good, teaches with wisdom, smiles at the future, and fears the Lord. There’s literally nothing negative about her. Now, I point this out because if we’re not careful, it can lead us to have unhealthy responses. So, for example, many women can come away discouraged – thinking, “I can never be like her.” Single men can come away with unrealistic expectations – thinking, “The person I marry better be like her.” And married men can come away bitter – thinking, “Why isn’t my wife like her?” But we must recognize that all those thoughts are not just wrong but detrimental to our souls – that is not how we apply this passage. We must remember that the Book of Proverbs was ultimately written to point us to Jesus and the wisdom that can only be found in Him.
Then let me take this time to speak to all the women here. I want you to know that I’ve been praying for you this week – that this message won’t crush you but give you life, that God will guard your mind against the lies from the enemy. Even as we go through this passage, the enemy will continue to remind you of your failures, flaws, inadequacies, and sins. He’ll continue to tell you that you’re not good enough and that you don’t have what it takes to change anything. He’ll make you think that no one will love you for who you really are. As a result, you may be tempted to give up even before you start this journey. Then considering these threats, I invite you to preach the gospel to yourself even as you listen to this sermon – remind yourself of your identity in Christ because this is how you can guard your heart against those lies. Because Jesus died on the cross to pay the price for your sins, you are forgiven, treasured, and made righteous in Christ. In fact, that’s not all – the Spirit of God who now lives in you will enable you to live the life that you were created to live as a daughter of God. All that to say, God will make this possible. So, don’t look at this passage as a set of commands to obey but receive it as a promise. This passage is not trying to guilt trip you over what you’re not but is giving you a vision of what you can be in the Lord. It’s not meant to discourage you but inspire you – encourage you to make every effort to grow to become more like Christ. Then I pray that you’ll leave this place hopeful and even excited knowing that God is tirelessly working to fulfill His good purpose in you.
Now, let me speak to the married men here. Please do not compare your wife with the woman you see in this passage. Don’t point out your wife’s faults, don’t criticize her, and don’t be cynical toward her because that will only crush her heart – in fact, it’ll also expose your lack of leadership. Instead, give her praise in all the areas where she’s doing well and encourage her so that she’ll continue to be motivated to be on this journey and not give up. Create a safe environment for her to make mistakes and learn. Cultivate a culture of love in your home so she knows that she’ll be treasured and cherished no matter what. Then pray for her – pray with her. Make yourself available for her so that you can be part of God’s plan in sanctifying your wife. This is your responsibility as her husband – you ought to lay down your life and love your wife so that she might become holy and blameless before the Lord. Then, today, recommit yourself to serving your wife so that she’ll grow to be more like Christ.
And with that in mind, let me point out three marks of biblical womanhood from this passage – three descriptions of what it means to be a woman of God.
SHE CULTIVATES WITH CARE
SHE SPEAKS WITH WISDOM
SHE FEARS THE LORD WITH REVERENCE
1) SHE CULTIVATES WITH CARE
When you look at the passage again, it’s very clear that life thrives wherever she is. Verse 27 tells us that she watches over the affairs of her household wisely. She brings her husband good, not harm, all the days of her life. In fact, because of her support and care, her husband excels in every way too. I know exactly what this means because I would not be able to do what I do if it weren’t for God’s grace and Alicia’s sacrificial love for my life. I would not be who I am today without her encouraging me, helping me, praying for me – and for that, I am incredibly grateful. Husbands, do you recognize your wife’s worth? Do you realize that you are where you are because of her devotion to you and your family? If so, express your love and gratitude to her today – as verse 31 says, “Honor her for all that her hands have done.” Okay, back to the passage. We see that she gets up before dawn – preparing breakfast for her family and organizing her day. She doesn’t worry about her family when it snows because their winter clothes are all mended and ready to be worn. She shops around for the best yarns and cottons because she enjoys knitting and sewing. She makes her own clothing and dresses in colorful linens and silks – which means that she knows how to take care of herself. She takes care of the mundane tasks that no one wants to do – and she accomplishes them even when no one’s looking. And if that’s not enough, verse 16 tells us that she’s incredibly industrious and business savvy. She buys a field and plants a vineyard. She makes linen garments and sells them to other merchants. She trades wisely and works diligently. And if that’s not enough, verse 20 tells us that she’s quick to assist anyone in need and reaches out to help the poor. It’s not the poor coming to her, but it’s her going to the poor. She doesn’t wait for opportunities, but she creates opportunities to help those in need. No wonder her children respect her, and her husband trusts her. No wonder verse 10 tells us that she’s far more precious than jewels. All that to say, wherever she is, whatever she touches, everything blossoms and prospers. Then that’s what I want you to see from this text because this I believe is one of the marks of biblical womanhood – the fact that her presence and action bring life to those around her. A woman of God cultivates with care and breathes life into her surroundings.
Then what does this mean practically? If you’re married, it means that you’re called to wholeheartedly love your husband and joyfully support him so that he’ll lead with confidence and serve with purpose wherever God places him. If you’re a mother, sacrificially serve your children and intentionally guide them in the ways of the Lord so that they’ll learn to love the Lord and live for His glory. Of course, I’m not in any way saying that this is all on the mothers – fathers should be right there sharing the responsibility of bringing their children up in the training and instruction of the Lord (Eph. 6:4). But if you’re a mother, I want you to know that you have a wonderful privilege of honoring the Lord through your parenting. Dorothy Patterson says, “Few women realize what great service they are doing for mankind and for the Kingdom of Christ when they provide shelter for the family and good mothering – the foundation on which all else is built. No professional pursuit so uniquely combines the most menial tasks with the most meaningful opportunities. It is hard to locate an aging mother who believes she made a mistake of pouring her life into her children, and it would certainly be more difficult to find a child to testify that his mother loved him and poured herself into his life to his detriment and demise. Being a mother is not a destructive drought of usefulness, but an overflowing oasis of opportunity.” All that to say, if you’re devoting your time and energy to serve your husband and children, I want to affirm you and honor you because the way you sacrifice for your family is an act of worship to God. So, continue to look for ways to bring life into your homes. Now, what about those who are not married – those who are not mothers? Are they in any way less of a woman? Of course not. You not being a mother or married does not in any way diminish your womanhood. In fact, let me make it very clear. As much as motherhood is an important aspect of womanhood, motherhood is not the singular goal of womanhood. Biblical womanhood goes so much deeper and wider than one’s life at home. Then the way you can cultivate with care at your workplace is to work with purpose – with this desire to honor God and love others. Don’t just work to advance your career at the cost of others – work in such a way that will bless everyone around you. Then what about your life at church? How can you cultivate with care there? Through discipleship. Every sister here needs other women who can point her to the beauty of God and drive her to pursue Christ in all that she does. As Titus 2 reminds us, younger women need older women and new believers need mature believers to show them the way of the cross by doing life together. All that to say, the way you can apply this truth to your life is endless – you just need to look around for opportunities.
Abigail Dodds explains it this way, “A godly woman is like a prism that takes in light and turns it into an array of greater, fuller glory so that those around her now see the rainbow that was contained in the beam. God has made us for glory – not glory that terminates on us, but glory that spends itself beautifying everything given to us and points in all things to Christ, who is the radiance of the glory of God. And as we behold Him – His perfection, His saving work, His glorious face – we will be changed from one degree of glory to another.” When a woman is gripped by the gospel, she will sacrificially love those around her because those who have been served by the Savior are always moved to serve others with love. This of course is so different from the world’s definition of womanhood because our culture will tell you to advance yourself at all costs – to look out for yourself because no one else can live your life for you. But the Bible’s teaching couldn’t have been more different. Jesus said in Mark 8:34-35, “Whoever wants to be My disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow Me. For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for Me and for the gospel will save it.” Then I want to encourage you to look for ways to breathe life into people around you because this is what it means to embrace biblical womanhood – you’re called to cultivate with care for the good of others and the glory of God.
2) SHE SPEAKS WITH WISDOM
Verse 26, “She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue.” A woman of God is a woman of wisdom. Now, what’s wisdom? James 3:13 defines it this way, “Who is wise and understanding among you? Let them show it by their good life, by deeds done in the humility that comes from wisdom.” Some people assume that wisdom is having as much knowledge as possible, but James reminds us that it’s not really about what you know but what you do with that knowledge that demonstrates wisdom. In other words, wisdom is not just about possessing insightful ideas or profound truths but it’s about living them out in our lives – which implies that the woman we see in this passage is able to speak with wisdom because she not only knows the truth but is already living it out. In fact, that’s exactly what we see in this text. This whole thing can be described as a demonstration of wisdom – she serves humbly, works diligently, trades wisely, shares generously, and more because she has chosen to work out what she knows. This was her way of applying the truth to her life. In fact, she’s able to impart wisdom to others that is practical and applicable to their lives because she has learned to wrestle with the truths in her own life first. Then think about the people you would consider wise. Why do you consider them wise? Is it because they know a lot? That’s definitely part of it. But I think it’s ultimately because they helped you to apply the information you have for the purpose of transformation. In fact, they don’t just talk the talk but also walk the walk – and for that, we consider them wise.
Then how do you grow in wisdom? Proverbs 2:6 says, “For the LORD gives wisdom; from His mouth come knowledge and understanding.” Then let me share just two things from this verse. First, it shows us that wisdom comes from the Word of God. In other words, if you want to become wise, you must immerse yourself in the Bible. You cannot work out the truths of God if you don’t know the truths of God. Sadly, one of the lies that Christians (both men and women) may be tempted to believe is the idea that women don’t need theology. In fact, in my research, I found out that many female Christian authors have been told at least once not to dig too deep in their studies – that they should just leave theology to men. Now, let me make it very clear – this is not biblical. 2 Timothy 3:16-17 says, “All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the servant of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work.” As you can see, there’s absolutely nothing gender-specific about this passage. But the point that Paul makes is clear – both men and women need the Word of God to breathe life into us so that we’ll be equipped to live a life that is pleasing to the Lord. Then since theology is the study of God from the Word of God, in order for you to fully grow into a mature woman of faith, in order for you to grow in wisdom, you need to go deeper in theology. In fact, let me quickly share three reasons why women of God should study theology. First, because having sound theology is part of the Greatest Commandment. Jesus said in Matthew 22:37, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.” In other words, Jesus wants you to use your mind and learn. I think that in itself is a good enough reason for you to study theology – but let’s continue. Second, because having sound theology will strengthen your faith. We know that on earth, we’ll never be free from trials – but that doesn’t mean that we can’t learn to endure them in a God-honoring way, which by the way is only possible through the knowledge of His truth. When we understand that our God is good despite our pain, we can find peace and smile at the future. When we know that what awaits us in the future is this eternal life with the Lord, we can find hope in the present. When we know that all our lives are being worked out according to His perfect will, we can rejoice. Our understanding of God’s sovereignty calms our anxious hearts – and our knowledge of His faithfulness will ease the grip of doubt. Our theology can shape the way we handle life and give us faith to trust God in all circumstances. Third, because having sound theology brings God glory. From the first chapter to the final chapter of the Bible, God makes it unmistakably clear that He is passionate about His glory. Then this is why we were created as well – we were made for His glory. And we will glorify Him by knowing Him well, by treasuring Him above all things, and by living in such a way that will show the world that He alone is our greatest reward. Pastor John Piper said, “Wimpy theology makes wimpy women. Wimpy theology simply does not give a woman a God that is big enough, strong enough, wise enough, and good enough to handle the realities of life in a way that magnifies the infinite worth of Jesus Christ.” Then considering this, I pray that you’ll grow to hunger for the Word. Read the Word. Listen to the Word. Study the Word. Memorize the Word. Meditate on the Word. Work out the Word. Live out the Word. Center your life around the Word. Speak from the Word. Discuss the Word with other women. Help others to know the Word. Deepen your love for the Word because this is how you grow in wisdom. So, that’s the first thing.
The second thing I want to point out from Proverbs 2:6 is that the Lord gives wisdom – which means that if you want to grow in your wisdom, you must pray. Even if you immerse yourself in the Word, if God doesn’t open your mind to see the mystery that’s in there, all your work will be for nothing. Then here’s a simple prayer that I always pray before I look to the Word – it’s from Psalm 119:18, “Open my eyes that I may see wonderful things in your law.” After praying this, trusting that God hears our prayers, I look to the Word with hope knowing that He will speak to me. Then maybe this is something you can do as well. The point is that you should pray because wisdom ultimately comes from the Lord. He’ll show you how you can turn your informational knowledge into transformational truth. A woman of God is committed to the Word of God because she desires to be a woman of wisdom.
3) SHE FEARS THE LORD WITH REVERENCE
I’m not sure if you noticed but with all the descriptions of this great woman, there’s one thing that this passage never promotes in womanhood – it’s her physical beauty. In fact, the only thing that King Lemuel shares about physical appearance is found in verse 30 which says, “Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.” Now, why was it important for him to say this? Was it because God is against outward beauty? Of course not. In fact, many women are praised for their beauty in the Bible – so, for example, women like Sarah, Rebecca, Rachel, Queen Esther are all described as having lovely figures. Then why did King Lemuel say this? It’s because we live in a world that exalts outer beauty above everything else – it’s because our culture measures a woman’s worth by the way she looks. There’s this unhealthy emphasis on women’s outward appearance as if the entirety of her value and significance is dependent on it. But the Bible tells us something completely different. It tells us that charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting – but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
Now, this is one of those phrases that are greatly misunderstood because when we think of fear, we often think of the kind of terror that makes you want to run away – that heart-pounding, what-in-the-world-is-happening, how-can-I-get-myself-out-of-this kind of horror. But that’s not what the fear of the Lord means at all. The fear of God refers to having a heart that is completely in awe of God. It’s the kind of fear that cultivates humility and submission because you see that He alone is worthy of your worship. It crushes pride and arrogance because you see that you’re utterly insignificant in comparison to the King. It produces confidence and courage because you see that you have a refuge in the Lord. It opens your eyes to see that true beauty is found in godliness, not in outer beauty – which is why the fear of the Lord will actually always draw you to pursue holiness. Then a woman who fears the Lord is someone who honors God by seeking Him in everything she does and trusting Him wholeheartedly with her life. She has a heart of reverence that overflows into a life of worship and obedience. Then let me ask you, “Is your life marked by the fear of the Lord? Is your life driven by the fear of the Lord? Is the way you work a reflection of your love for God? Is your marriage and motherhood motivated by your desire to honor God? Is the way you serve the church a response to His grace working in your life? Is your life displaying God’s glory to those around you?” Remember. If you fear the Lord, you’ll fear nothing else. But if you don’t fear the Lord, you’ll fear everything else. No wonder the woman in this passage is able to laugh at the days to come – she’s not anxious about tomorrow, she’s not afraid of what’s to come because she completely trusts God. Isn’t that the kind of woman you want to be? Then fear the Lord today. Be captivated by His beauty. Anchor yourself in His truth. Rest in His grace. Depend on His power and wisdom. Find your worth in Jesus Christ, not in your appearance. Then boldly face the future and live to bring Him glory because this is what it means to embrace biblical womanhood.
Then let me end by pointing you back to something that I shared in the very beginning. If you remember, I said that you shouldn’t look at this passage as a set of commands to obey but receive it as a promise. This is not a checklist of what you’re not but a celebration of who you can be in Christ. Sisters, I want you to know that God is shaping you to be the kind of woman you see here. Why? Because He loves you so much. Then I pray that you’ll leave this place hopeful and excited – knowing that God is tirelessly working to fulfill His good purpose in you.
CONCLUSION
Lighthouse family, a woman of God is someone who cultivates with care, speaks with wisdom, and fears the Lord with reverence. Then let’s encourage our women to be on a journey to grow in their commitment to these things so that God would be glorified and the people around us would flourish.
DISCUSSION QUESTIONS
How does our culture define femininity? What do you think are the marks of biblical womanhood? Read the whole passage. What stands out about this woman? Why?
Verse 26. Think of people you consider wise. What makes them wise? How do you grow in wisdom? Many Christians today are tempted to believe that women don’t need theology. Do you agree? If not, why not? Why is it important to grow in your knowledge of God?
Verse 30. Why is charm deceptive and beauty fleeting? What does it mean to fear the Lord? How can your fear of the Lord transform your life today?
Spend some time praying for the women of our church – that they will joyfully and humbly embrace their call to biblical womanhood.